Memorial Service

Thursday 24th January

On Thursday night, we held a memorial service for my cousin. This is a photo of him.

The service was well attended, there were probably 50 or 60 people there, family, friends and neighbours. Friends and acquaintances spoke about Douglas and told anecdotes about him. We had various readings, and listened to music that he liked. We also sang two hymns, and had some short prayers.

Most of the talks concentrated on Douglas' recent life since his blindness, and there was little mention of his formidable intellect, though one of his friends mentioned his fluency in German, acquired when he was studying in Germany as part of his PhD in Chemistry. One of his friends did mention his prestigious job, full of international travel.  There were several mentions of the meningitis and shingles which struck him down in 2002, leading to his severe visual impairment. There were few comments about how he adjusted to this, but I have to say my sister and I were so struck by the fact that we never heard him complain about the fact that his life had been totally destroyed. He had to retire before he was 50, and instead of a life of international travel, had to get used to the fact that travelling down his own street was difficult. Instead of international conferences, he spent his time in Day Centres - rather a difference. He took up painting with the little sight he had, and very much enjoyed this new hobby. You can see one of his paintings on his blog at
http://profwhitestick.blogspot.fr/2012/04/tate-modernboetti-and-kusama.html
though I prefer the landscapes he used to paint and send as Christmas cards.

Mention was also made of his interest in Art and visiting Art Galleries,  and the fact that after he lost his sight, he got a BA by studying at the Open University.

Everybody commented on his sense of humour, and there were also many remarks on his campaigning on behalf of visually impaired people, and the numbers of public bodies he took on when he found their provisions inadequate. He could be difficult, and even abrasive at times, but he was both focused and determined, and he put all these qualities to good use when dealing with people who he felt should do better in their provisions for visually disabled people. 

In spite of our sadness, it was a good way of celebrating Douglas' life, and most people stayed on in the church afterwards for wine and crisps and a lot of chat. We didn't leave until about 9.15, so it was a very late night for me; it was a long journey from West Hampstead right across London to London Bridge, and then there were no taxis at Oxted when I arrived, so I had a very long cold wait.